Thirty-one ways to leave your lover

If you run any sort of text messaging service, you’ll have to process unsubscribe requests. The standard such messages is “STOP.”

To make things easier for customers, in addition to “stop”, I wrote code that also looked for “unsubscribe”, “quit”, “cancel”, “end”, “delete” and anything beginning with the word “fuck.” (Messages merely containing the word fuck often wanted something else entirely.)

Many folks are pretty…creative with their cease-and-desists messages, and manual review is required to make sure you catch all of them. Here are thirty-one such requests for your amusement:

  • Already did!!!! Stop harassing texts… This is invasion of privacy
  • Cancel
  • Da fuck?
  • Delete me off the record
  • Dont ever text message me again
  • Dont give a fuck!!!
  • Don’t ever text me you fuck
  • Don’t text me
  • Don’t text this number again.
  • Ech don’t text me
  • End
  • Fu
  • Fuk u
  • How can I get you to STOP sending me messages?
  • I know. Stop please.
  • I will now report this phone number as illegally spamming per the FCC
  • Leave me alone
  • Please remove my phone number.
  • Please stop texts
  • Pls stop sending me messages!!!!
  • Qui
  • Quit
  • Remove
  • Remove please
  • Shame on you! It’s illegal to solicit cell phone numbers
  • Shut up
  • Stoo
  • Take me off this list.
  • Yes I have now stop texting me
  • Yes I have, you can stop sending texts now
  • Yes STOP

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