blog.shrub

Such a brilliant performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner:

But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works: the president makes decisions. He’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put ‘em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!

Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, “Oh, they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.” First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

so some guy got people to donate money so he could buy a G5 and blew up his G4. too funny.

Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes.

Re-Introducing the Real Windows Vista.

interesting software conference this spring.

Sessions include:

• Take Control of Your Team’s Decisions NOW! by Ken Schwaber
• Avoiding the Seven Pitfalls of Lean by Mary Poppendieck
• Pair Managing: Two Managers per Programmer by Jim Highsmith
• Two-Phase Waterfall: Implementation Considered Harmful by Robert C. Martin
• User Interaction: It Was Hard to Build, It Should Be Hard to Use by Jeff Patton
• FIT Testing In When You Can; Otherwise Skip It by Ward Cunningham
• The Joy of Silence: Cube Farm Designs That Cut Out Conversation by Alistair Cockburn
• wordUnit: A Document Testing Framework by Kent Beck
• Slash and Burn: Rewrite Your Enterprise Applications Twice a Year by Michael Feathers
• Very Large Projects: How to Go So Slow No One Knows You’ll Never Deliver by Jutta Eckstein

We already know MSNBC doesn’t like Bill O’Reilly. Neither does CBS. Instead of the usual softballs, O’Reilly got mocked by David Letterman.

On your left, booker extraordinaire Natasha Bishop. On your right, Pollyanna Bush.

Thanks, Keith Olbermann — that was excellent.

at work, i posed the question “can vegetarians have cash cows?”

the answer:
since a cash cow is something that generates cash, and vegetarians are okay with consuming animal products (but not animals), vegetarians can indeed have cash cows.

vegans, on the other hand, cannot.

Some musicians are more comfortable in studio than on stage, and it shows. While on stage, they often resort to clichés and canned lines.

We should have a game called “musician bingo.” We can print out cards and bring them to shows. Here’s what I have so far:

1. musician mentions name of city
2. musician asks how crowd is doing
3. musician mentions name of city, but gets it wrong
4. musician mentions name of bar
5. musician mentions name of bar, but gets it wrong
6. musician thanks audience for coming
7. musician thanks sound guy
8. musician thanks lighting guy
9. musician thanks bartender
10. musician tells audience to put their hands up/together/in the air
11. musician mispronouces other performer’s name
12. musician mispronouces city
13. musician mispronouces bar
14. musician asks if anyone is from other city
15. musician tosses guitar picks or drumsticks into crowd
16. musician toasts (with) audience

16 four down, 8 to go.